Mommy ADD

Sometimes adhd just plain sucks

Just a warning - I'm going to whine in this post.

I just finished my 504 meeting for my daughter and while nothing was a major surprise, I am still a bit bummed. It turns out, she wasn't reading as many sight words as I expected and writing is especially difficult.

This comes on the heels of the fact that I am trying to find ways to get her more active to burn off energy at the end of the day. I have been working on a gameplan for her, but apparently it will need to change.

Its just so damn frustrating. I feel bad complaining. I really do. I know there are moms out there who have much bigger things to worry about - like their children's health. I get that and I am very appreciative that my kids are healthy. It doesn't change the fact that this is still tough for me.

So, after this and a bad homework situation the night before, I decided that I need to give the Princess her meds in the afternoon to help with her after school behavior. Lo and behold it worked! Except for the fact that she then has trouble falling asleep. Oh, and the fact that she isn't gaining enough weight and needs to make up calories at dinner. Oh, and the fact that her meds will need to be adjusted soon because they aren't covering her like they should.

See what I mean? It's just so damn complicated. Just when I think I have one thing figured out, something else pops up to throw a monkey wrench in my plans.

I have often joked that my kid are complicated, but they are also gorgeous, so that makes up for it. :) In seriousness,it can be so infuriating. I mean, I'm a freekin English teacher, and yet my daughter lacks in reading and sight words? My son writes and he looks like he wrote it with his foot?

I can't help but to feel like I am failing them. I should have worked with the Princess more on her sight words and reading, even though she reads books to us. I need to find ways to improve my son's handwriting, even though he has done a summer handwriting class 3 times.

Then, there's the activity level. I need to get my kids more active at the end of the school day, but how? If I also have to work on school work, reading, take showers and get to bed at a good time, when am I supposed to squeeze it in? I just haven't seemed to figure out how this is all supposed to fit together.

To write or not to write? That is the question...

My son has bad handwriting. Actually, on most days, bad doesn't seem like a strong enough word to describe what he produces. Seriously, there are days that it looks like he wrote with his foot.

Last year, my son's teacher said it was ok if he typed all of his assignments. I wasn't comfortable with this arrangement. I mean, yes his handwriting is bad, but I think he needs to learn (or at least attempt to learn) how to write neatly. Scratch that. How to write legibly. Maybe it's just the teacher in me, but I don't think it's right to tell a kid "Oh, it's ok that your handwriting sucks. Just type it" that early. I think they should at least attempt to try handwriting, then if it is impossible, move on to typing it.

Am I in the minority here?

Need more time in the day

So, we have survived the first week of school. One thing I have quickly realized is that I don't have enough time in the day. I know this is a common complaint, but I mean it. <insert whining here>

Because of my scoliosis, if I want to prevent having a rod inserted in my back - which would make me taller, but still can't shake the image of a stick up my butt - and I want to avoid it at all costs, I need to workout. Because of our commute, my kids have to go to bed early. This only leaves so much time to do homework. Plus, if I give my kids their afternoon meds (which should be a requirement) I need to pick them up as soon as I can after school.

This leaves me with the problem of when to workout. Last year, I worked out after school and picked up my kdis around 4:30 - 4:45. This put us home at about 5:30. With eating and showers it didn't always leave enough time for homework.

This is my conundrum.

I already get up at 5:45 to get ready for work. I already go to bed by 9 because I hate mornings and am one of those unfortunate peeps who needs 8-9 hours of sleep to function. So what do I do?

I miss my workouts. They really helped me decompress from my day and get ready to deal with two ADHDers. Now with them both doing homework, I just don't see how to make it happen.

Any suggestions?

Which is more impt: social skills or grades?

My adhd son has always had trouble socially. Part of it, we suspect, has been caused by the meds he was on. Over the summer we were able to experience no meds and the social difference was pretty amazing. He was much, much happier, he was more social, more active and most importantly, he smiled more.

The downside, of course, was that he was also sometimes a raving lunatic of activity. There were some days that it was a bit much, but for the most part we could handle it.

Towards the end of summer, we opted to put him back on his original medicine. Well, yesterday it gave him a massive headache and made him puke (Had to pull over quick to make sure we didn't have another truck puking incident) - a reaction that we duplicated with his short acting meds over the summer (minus the puke).

So, as my hubs and I ponder what to do with the Princess (short of duct taping her to a wall), we are also wondering what is best for our son.

On one hand, we don't want our son to have a hard time socially. It is already difficult for him since he younger than his classmates and he is gifted, so he already sees things differently than his peers.

On the flip side, we want him to continue to do well academically. I know that meds only facilitate his success, but I'll be honest - they make a biiiiig difference in a classroom situation. If we put him on a lower dose, it means we will all have to employ more behavioral strategies to make up for it and I'm not sure that it will work.

So, what to do? We are thinking about trying a lower dose med to help him during the day. Maybe then this won't impede the social aspect as much? I know grades are important (I mean, I am a teacher too) but he also needs to be social.

Any thoughts?

And so it begins...

That's right, school is finally here. The backpacks are packed, the teacher notes are emailed, the supplies are purchased (in triplicate, no less) and the kids will be going to bed soon so they will be ready for their first day of school.

So why do I feel like my head is going to explode from overwhelm?

I mean, I know what I need to do to monitor my kids school stuff. I know how to help them with behavior management techniques. But I'm not sure if it's enough and that worries me.

I know this is normal, but still. What if they fall behind? What if their meds don't work (a real possibility for the old man)? What if I bother the teacher? What if they have social issues? What if, what if, what if?

Now is the true test, when all our skills will be tried and tested. When we have to put our money where our mouths are. When...wait, I don't really have any more played out sports metaphors to insert here.

Basically, I'm a little nervous. The Princess will have homework for the first time. The Old Man will most likely have more homework than I'm used to. I know I can do it, but....still. It's scary!!! :)

The back to school routine, pre-game show

So, school starts next week. <sigh> No more sleeping in, no more watching Pokemon (thank GOD for that), no more morning swims. I'm actually not that bummed about summer being over. School needs to start again because my kids NEED the routine of it all.

I'm very worried though. The old man has a tough time focusing enough to get his homework done and now not only will I have to deal with him doing homework, but his sister as well. Since hubby works late, it'll all be up to me.

I spoke with the kids counselor about this last week and we came up with a basic game plan. There are a lot of parts that still don't add up (little things, like how the hell I'm going to feed them too) but I feel better than I did a week ago.

This is also made more difficult because we've had so much trouble with the old man's meds. This means we will have to rely on beh modification strategies more this year, which scares me. 

Here's what we have so far:

1. He needs to wear a watch. My first reaction was that this was a baaaad idea, but now I think it might not be. This will, once he learns how to use it, help him manage his time in class. Assuming he actually looks at his watch, of course.

2. He needs to use a student planner to write down assignments. I have a feeling I will have to have the teacher sign off on these daily. Now, if I could just find a planner geared towards elementary school kids.

3. After school, instead of trying to do his homework at the after school program, we are going to try and find a place for him to go to do homework after school, whether it's a teacher's classroom or the library.

4. If he gets his homework done, then when we get home, he gets to play first and his sister will do her homework first. If he doesn't get his done, he gets the hot seat first. This way, I can keep the kids away from each other while they work. I am also planning to put son in earplugs, since he can't have background noise.

5. Reading for him will occur before he turns his lamp off for bed. This helps his mind slow down a little so he can fall asleep.

So, this is the plan so far. Notice I don't ahve anything about my mornings? That, my friends, is an entirely different post. I am still struggling with a way to get my daughter's meds into her and still have her eat a good breakfast, all without getting her up too early. Phew.

Any tips/suggestions/questions?