Mommy ADD

Sleepwalking? You can't be serious?

Because apparently having ADHD and ODD wasn't enough. The princess likes to keep us on our toes, which translates to "mom and dad will not get a full night of sleep."

You see, it all started a few nights ago with the Princess waking us up shortly after she fell asleep. It took a few days for us to realize what was happening - the walking aimlessly, the closed eyes, the incoherent sleep.

She was sleepwalking.

It was bad one night, where she pulled something out of her closet, seemingly just so she could try and walk on it. It happened to be a playground ball and that didn't end very well.

We tried to gently put her back to bed each time, but that is a pretty hard task when you have a kid screaming things like "No!" and "Okay, I'll get it!" and "fjdkal;fdjiofqwerfhn."

So, now we can deal with the anger issues with a few less hours of sleep. Sounds fun, I know. :)

PS - If you are experiencing this as well, here are a few sites to check out:

ADD/Sleepwalking

Sleepwalking

"You medicate your child?"

Man, I really hate that question.

Yes, I willingly medicate my children. Don't judge me for it. If I had a kid who had diabetes or epiliesy, you wouldn't say anything about me giving my kid a medication, but because it is for ADHD, you question me.

I get this sentiment from family members, colleagues and even complete strangers. Trust me, I have done my research on this. My kids being able to focus and get good grades in school and to me, that is what is important.

You are at my house when the princesses meds wear off and she is having a meltdown and throwing stuff at me and her brother and she is trying to kick a hole in the wall. You are there when the old man has a meltdown because he doesn't understand why he has so much trouble concentrating when other kids don't.

With over a decade of classroom experience, I have seen what can happen to a kid who needs to be medicated and isn't. I have also seen what happens when a kid who needs meds, gets them. Trust me, you don't want to be the parent who could have helped your child, but didn't because you are against the idea of medication. It's not worth it educationally.

So, yes, I medicate my kids on a daily basis and I am completely at peace with the decision.

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How do you deal with this question? Please share! :)

Appt #2 with the psychiatrist...and why I am learning patience

So, Friday we had another appointment with the child psychiatrist. I wasn't sure what to expect, since our first appointment was very different from my expectations. I have to say, I was very pleasantly surprised.

I was prepared to have to switch doctors if necessary. I'm glad I didn't. This time around, there was more chatting about the behavior issues at hand, which seem to flip flop every time. One time its the old man, next it's the princess.

So, mom has officially learned to be patient with situations. Patience is especially important when dealing with ADHD and sometimes I can't seem to remember that. Yet another mantra I need to engrave on my brain...LOL

I'll have a post later about the princess and the ODD - we are going to see if we can get a med situation to help limit the issues. This is a tough decision for me, because I am already getting "suggestions" from family members about the kids being on meds, which is a conversation for a different time.

Every minute. Of every hour. Of every day.

The princess takes a lot of work. A. Lot.

Sometimes I make the mistake of taking my eye off her. Not in public, because then she would run (and she has). I sometimes make the mistake of thinking she is doing something that isn't destructive - like the time she painted the bathroom counters with toothpaste.

You would think that I would have learned my lesson. Apparently not.

Yesterday I was grading papers. Yes, on a Sunday, which goes against one of my cardinal rules of teaching. The princess was finishing up her meds and she was having a tough time. Then she was quiet.

Blissfully quiet. And that should have been my first clue.

I thought she was just reading books in her room. I should have known better. This morning I discovered coloring. On the walls. On the door. In the closet. In crayon. In pen. In permanent marker.

Yeah. It was that type of morning.

What I have to learn about her is that she can't be left alone like that. Yes, other kids can, but she isn't like other kids. And I cant let my guard down for even a minute, because if I do, there is NO telling what might happen.

*Pictures of her artwork will be posted tomorrow, especially since I have to buy a new magic eraser to clean the walls. :)

Three Tips For...End of Semester Review

If you have a child in middle or high school, the end of the semester can be a stressful time for you both. Before we get the feedback of final grades, our ADHD kiddos need to make it through final exams.

Final exams pose a special problem for our kids. It asks them to recall information from the entire course of the semester, organize study materials and time efficiently and then do well on timed tests. Here are three tips to help your child through final exams.

1. Look at those accommodations. If your child is already on a 504 or IEP plan, look at what accommodations you have in place for testing. Even if your child hasn't needed them throughout the semester, you may want to consider making them take advantage of them during testing time.

If your student isn't already on an accommodation plan, talk with the individual teacher(s). Many will be more than willing to make adaptations to help your child, especially if you have been in contact with them and working with them all semester.

Some possible modifications are: smaller testing group, extended time, or a reader for test questions. Modifications can be as simple as a fidget toy or chewing gum during the exam.

If you ask for an accommodation to be made, please make sure you are being reasonable. The purpose of an accommodation is to level the playing field, not give your child an advantage.

2. Begin reviewing early. Once you know when finals are, sit down with your student to come up with a review plan, then help them to implement it. Make sure you pay attention to the subjects that need more time and review and plan accordingly.

Another way to help your child is to review with them. You can test them, either by asking them questions or helping them actively review. Help them make charts diagrams, graphs - anything that will help them conceptualize the concepts and ideas they need to remember.

3. Talk with the teacher. Once you have a game plan, make sure you have all the materials your child needs to review. If you are missing anything (or suspect you are) contact the teacher asap. Don't wait until the day before the final to ask about a concept your child is having trouble grasping - ask early.

If you are finding that your child needs extra help, email the teacher about tutoring. Many teachers hand out a review packet as well - make sure your child has one and if they are prone to losing things, ask the teacher for an extra. This will save a huge headache when it's the day before a final and your child can't find their review packet.

Finals is a stressful, but necessary time in every student's educational career. Work hard to help your student develop the skills they will need to make it through this time successfully. It will take a bit of work, but it will pay off in the long run.

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Alana Morales is the author of Domestically Challenged: A Working Mom’s Survival Guide to Becoming a Stay at Home Mom. You can learn more about her at www.AlanaMorales.com. You can also follow her on Twitter at www.Twitter.com/alanamorales for mom and ADHD tips. Do you have an ADHD/ADD educational issue you would like to see addressed? If so, please email me at info@mommyadd.com and I will try to feature it in a new column or on my blog at www.MommyADD.com.

So, how do you deal with the attitude?

Now, before I begin, I have to say this. I LOVE my kids. I really, really do. Still, I do not GET where their recent attitudes have come from. Actually, I'm pretty sure that it is somehow related to MY attitude, but I digress.

My daughter, the one who we are watching for ODD (and no, not just being odd, but oppositional defiance disorder), I get. She lives for attitude. She is giving me practice for when she is in puberty and the attitude manifests itself like one of those dinosaurs you put in water. One day its a little cute dino. The next day, it was swelled to 52 times its size and could bite your head off.

No, the issue comes from my son. He is still empethetic. He still does well in school . But now, he has attitude. And not just a little. A. LOT.

Today I made him stand in time out for at least 20 minutes and he wasn't phased in the least. When I have asked him to do something, he looks at me and does whatever he wants to. o_O

All I want to know is - who is this kid and where did my regular kid go?

I try to blame it on the sleep issues, which after one busted med attempt isn't any better than it was months ago. Then I think "Oh, he's getting older, that's what it is."

Then I remember that if I had talked to my mom like that, she woulda slapped the taste out of my mouth. I still don't taste everything as it is, I'm sure.

This doesn't help me. I am becoming angry, and from a mom who prides herself on her patience, this is not a good thing. 

I am yelling more, which I do not like. I am saying things that I do not like, just because it gets his attention (sometimes). I am frustrated on a regular basis and I can't do this. I have a stressful enough life without being stressed about something like this.

So, readers, I ask you - how do you prevent getting angry and how do you deal with the 'tude?

Three Tips for … Surviving Math Homework

Don't let the headline get to you. For some kids, math comes easy to them. Then there are the rest of us. Not to be stereotypical, but math can pose some special difficulties for our ADHD kids.

ADHD kids have a tendency to have difficulties with math facts, processing word problems and even following the order of operations. Special skills can help ease these troubles.

Here are three tips to help your kids survive and thrive math this year.

1. Make it fun. I know I keep saying this, but make the math fun. Despite common belief, you can make it fun. Let them do math facts online. Download a math game. In fact, you can even buy a math game for the Nintendo DS.

Several websites that may help are www.aplusmath.com, www.funbrain.com, and www.bigbrainz.com (which has a GREAT multiplication game that is free and downloadable).

2.Do what works. Math can be troubling because you have to keep track of all those darn numbers. Here's two ways to keep them in check. One unorthodox method is to take the notebook paper and turn it sideways. Then, when your student writes their numbers, they can keep them all in a row.

If you need a stronger way to keep track of the problems, have your student do their math homework on graph paper. If there isn't enough room, let them write in two boxes per number. Since going to this method, I can actually read my son's homework!

Another tip is to highlight the different operations in different colors. You could make addition green, subtraction yellow, multiplication blue and division pink. This will help remind our kiddos what operation they should be doing.

3. Practice, practice, practice. Unfortunately, the school day just keeps getting more and more busy. This means that there is less and less time for practicing basic math skills. Try to practice math facts 5 minutes a day or 10 minutes every other day. To make it easier, make a game of it. You can play bingo, have a scavenger hunt, play on the computer – whatever it takes.

Make sure they have samples of the exact type of problem they are working on. Modeling is very important with ADHD kids, especially since so many are visual learners.

Math can be fun...or at the worst, much less painful. Math is a necessary skill and all kids need to learn how to work problems effectively. Help take some of the stress out of math homework and become the math hero of your house today!

Do you have an ADHD/ADD educational issue you would like to see addressed? If so, please email me at info@mommyadd.com and I will try to feature it in a new column or on my blog at www.MommyADD.com.

Psych You Mind

So yesterday we had our eval with the psychiatrist. I am still trying to decide how I feel about it. I expected...more. I thought it would me a bit more like a reg couns appt. It wasn't.

It began with us arriving 45 minutes early. We had to drive into Phoenix and since I usually get lost, I allowed for this. I didn't. Then I planned to take them to the cafeteria for a snack, but because of that silly flu, they wouldn't allow it. So we sat.

When we finally got to our first appointment of the day, I was quite flustered. The doctor just stared. Like, he didn't ask any questions or anything. Just. Stared.

I then wondered if I had a bat in the cave or something. After several more uncomfortable seconds I asked where I should begin.

I know mental health professionals have to read people, but it felt... Creepy.

Throughout the appt, the dr had this cough. At the end of the appt he bolted. In hindsight I wonder if he had to go puke or something.
My son's appt was an hour later, so after killing some time we met with the dr again. No coughing this time, but there was still the creepy stare.

It was at this point that I decided I was not going to be intimidated by a doctor. I'm a smart woman. There's no reason for me to feel intimidated.

We received the diagnosis of anxiety, which I have known for forever. We talked about treatment goals and then got our rx's.

Here's where I don't know what to do. He was prescribed Tenex, which is actually a high blood pressure med. He mentioned that the old man already has slightly low BP (which of course freaks me the hell out) and that he shouldn't stand up too quickly cause he could pass out.

O_o.

Um ok. Way to burst my bubble. There wasn't enough talking. I would have preferred a different medication and of yet have not decided if I will give it to him yet. I wanted more from this appointment.

<Sigh> I will post more of an update when I process a little more and I'm not typing it on my Blackberry. :)

Phew. That's all I can say. Phew.

Well, my kids and I have officially survived one quarter of the school year. It wasn't easy. In fact, there were many times that I didn't think we would survive. There were tears. Sometimes they were even my kids.

But we did it. And now we have to do it three more times. o_O

I learned a lot during the quarter. Here's a few:

• I need to make sure I have realistic expectations. I am coming to accept the fact that while I know my son is a genius, it's ok if he gets some B's every now and then. C's are not acceptable, and he should have mostly A's, but some B's are the end of the world. I realize that it's not worth the extra hour (or more) of homework time each night to have him at straight A's.

• I need help. This is a tough journey I'm on and I can't do it alone. I have been relying on my husband a lot around the house and he has stepped it up. I have been relying on teachers to keep me in the loop with homework and for the most part it is going well. I rely on my friends who also have ADHD kiddos to tell me that what I am going through is normal, even though it sucks.

• I need to relax. Just because this is a difficult and stressful doesn't mean I am a bad mom. Just because we have to medicate our kids and do behavior plans and such doesn't mean it's my fault.

Basically I need to go from this:

To this:

(And for the record, I do not mean that I need to go from a stressed out white woman to a zen-like pile of rocks. It's metaphorical, peeps).

So, I will take a deep breath, take the kids to the park over break and get organized for the next big push. Let's see if I can keep this one less stressful. :)

Give yourself something to look forward to

As a completely overwhelmed, sick, too busy mom, I realized what was keeping my one little shred of sanity. It's having something to look forward to.

I don't mean something big, like a vacation, though that certainly helps. Right now, money is tough, so I look forward to weekend evenings when my husband and I play free online poker. It's fun, it's free and I enjoy it. We also have something brewing that I cannot mention yet, but suffice it to say that it gives me something to possibly look forward to. Not only that, but is a good mind blank - a good way to have something outside of my norm to think about.

This made me think about how important it is for ALL moms, but especially moms of kids with special needs. We have soooooo much going on all the time, that it is crucial that we give our brains a break.

Joan Celebi, of the Special Needs Parent Coach, addressed this today too. She recommends starting small and putting yourself first - read the entire entry here, and you should because she discussed a personal action plan. 

So, I have my ::something:: in place - do you?